German Shepard Fit, Common Sense, and Fun Status Updates

Editorial Team

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Ugh, Tuesday, Share one of these to speed up the week…

Fun Facebook Status Updates:

Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
That was funny, but I haven’t had my coffee yet so I’m unable to laugh or show any emotion.
Teacher: You failed your test.
Me: You failed to educate me.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.
“You’re cute when you’re mad.”
“Yeah, well I’m about to get really freakin’ adorable”
This year, the Super Bowl will be won by the team with the fewest members in jail.
I have 2 hairstyles – cute and homeless.
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
“Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.” – Homer Simpson
That awkward moment when you wave at someone, but then it’s not the person you think it was.
Chicken Pot Pie. Three of my favorite things. Doesn’t even have to be in that order.
When I text someone and they don’t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from overexcitement.
I look forward to the day when people will only know Cancer as a Zodiac sign.
If Taco Bell really did “Think outside the bun,” they would add margaritas to their menus, and replace hot sauce packets with Pepto Bismol.
Don’t send me a text with “;-)” and wonder why I show up to your house naked.
The dentist told me I need to be more aggressive when I floss so I’ve decided to start growling.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it’s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an asshole on the Internet.
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
My wife wrote an email to me saying she was concerned that we have communications issues. I immediately sent an IM asking her to clarify. She messaged me on Facebook saying not to worry but that sometimes we’re not as connected as she’d like. I tweeted her that I love her more than anything. She texted me that she loves me too and was tired after a long day of work. So I leaned over and kissed her good night.