Make Humpday fast and fun with one of these…
20 Great Facebook Statuses:
- If you’re wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don’t google ‘old man bond age’
- “Good for you!” means, “I do not consider you a threat” in woman-speak.
- Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
- You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
- Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
- There is no better karate instructor than a spiderweb in your face…
- “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best” literally translates to “I’m a loud, sloppy drunk.”
- The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
- What’s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can’t run around so much?
- Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
- Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “northwest.”
- Ya, I’ll meet you there. I just have to run home and change my mind.
- When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
- Rubbing the wall until you find the light switch.
- Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
- Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains that could have become beer but didn’t.
- I’ve accepted that I’ll never get back to my original weight. After all, when you think about it, 6 lbs. 3 oz. is pretty unrealistic.
- If women don’t work as hard as men, it’s only because we get it right the first time.
- I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time.
- Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
What are friends for???
Corrected it for you, Best Friend 🙂