Money Talks, Koala’s Bitching, and Laughable Facebook Status Updates

FunnyStatus Team

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Make your Monday memorable, share these…

Laughable Facebook Status Updates:

That awkward moment when you put something in a safe place and then forget where the safe place is.
Hate when I’m having a great day and someone speaks to me.
I’ve never had a bad day that started with a breakfast burrito.
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
I wonder if anyone notices that I only wear like three pairs of pants.
We should all be thankful that centipedes can’t fly. That would be terrifying.
Do one thing every day that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people.
That awkward moment when you literally buy a shirt because it’s so ugly that it’s funny but you get a billion actual compliments on it.
Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
Some things are easy to say, hard to do and even harder to realize.
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight.
If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.
When I have to make a phone call and it goes to voicemail…I feel like I just won the lottery.
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
Sometimes, by holding on too tight, you end up losing what you were trying so hard to save. Soap, for example.
Theres always a sudden feeling of success when you wake up following a night of drinking and you can instantly locate your phone and wallet.
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
After opening this month’s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.