Facebook Status Updates

Funny Waiter, Loading Afro, & Silly Statuses

Editorial Team

577

Step your status game up, share these…

20 Silly Facebook Statuses:

Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven’t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
If you ever disappeared while hiking, I’d remain with the search party at least until it started raining.
If you were a cupcake, I’d definitely eat you. And, then I’d feel really guilty, knowing that I ate the best cupcake in the world. And, obviously, that I ate my friend, as well.
True love is not having to hold your farts in anymore.
Take out the trash?
Nah, I’ll just push it down with more trash.
That awkward moment when your internet goes down and you don’t know what to do with your life.
I can’t imagine my life without you. And I have a very active imagination, so I should totally be able to do it. But I can’t.
Pringles: The only chip company that doesn’t sell air.
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Add your area code. Subtract your age. Add some common sense. What are you even doing with your life?
One day my fridge will take revenge on me by opening my bedroom door every half hour, staring at me for a few minutes and then leave.
If there is any time to pay attention, it is while typing “grandfather clocks” into an image search.
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
I hear what you’re saying, but I can’t say what I’m hearing.
I need me some adult light up shoes!
Why don’t homeless people just use their credit cards like the rest of us?
I know we’re smarter than dogs, but whenever I hear them bark for no reason I’m positive they know more than I do.
“It’s impossible.” said pride. “It’s risky.” said experience. “It’s pointless.” said reason. “Give it a try.” whispered the heart.
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note “Don’t eat me”.Now there’s an empty plate and a note “Don’t tell me what to do”