Facebook Status Updates

French Bulldog Farts, Smiling Doggy, and Status Ideas

Editorial Team

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Great Facebook Status Ideas:

The awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and both walk the same way.
Me + Bad Mood = Music on 100% volume
Inhale the good stuff. Exhale the bad stuff.
No, I’m not lazy. I’m just very protective to my seat.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S:
(F)ight for you.
(R)espect you.
(I)nvolve you.
(E)ncourage you.
(N)eed you.
(D)eserve you.
(S)ave you.
I’m not arguing, I’m explaining why I’m right.
Now I can be the last of all my straight AND gay friends to get married!
Alcohol may not cure insomnia, but it sure makes staying up a lot more fun!
Thanks for the inspirational quote. It has inspired me to unfriend you.
That moment when you do something amazing and nobody is around too see it.
Just told my OCD coworker that I moved something on his desk when I didn’t. This should be fun.
That awkward moment when someone says something to you for the fifth time and you still don’t know what they said.
When you hear a recording of your voice and you wonder how you have any friends.
You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.
Relationship status: Nowhere near as happy as those couples from the erectile dysfunction commercials.
Excited for gay divorce shows!
If I had to pick one thing to do for the rest of my life it would be hitting the snooze button. I’m confident I could do that forever.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I have to admit you have amazing deceiving skills can you please teach me.
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole’s name. 3. If you help someone when they’re in trouble, they will remember you when they’re in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.
You’ve got higher grades than mine, not because you’re smarter than me, but because I’m lazier than you.