Flying Squirrel, Plotting Kitty, and Top Statuses

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Top Facebook Statuses this week:

  1. The awkward moment when you’re at your friends house and your friend is getting yelled at so you just stand there and pet the dog.  (*NEW* – iPhone App: Funny Status 2  5★ Ratings)
  2. The love of your life is just like the police: They’re never around when you need them the most.
  3. It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for…. “Your order’s ready.”
  4. I feel pretty confident that if anyone ever steals my idenity, they will inevitably improve my credit score.
  5. Fast way to MESS up someones Knock Knock joke? “It’s open.”
  6. No smartphones for my kids. They need to suffer years of fleeting, awkward eye contact with strangers like I did.
  7. It never feels right cursing in front of your parents.
  8. Our kids will never know the terror of calling their crush on a landline and having their parents answer the phone.  (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  9. It’s too hot for covers, but I can’t sleep without the feeling of them on me.
  10. Single as a dollar and not looking for change.
  11. Sometimes you expect more, because you would do that much for them.
  12. I’m young. I text at the speed of light, listen to my music too loud, roll my eyes, fall in love easily, and get my heart broken.
  13. I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I’m fat and I can’t run for more than 2 minutes.
  14. Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?   (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  15. Keys, Wallet, Phone: Three things I’m happy to see after a night of drinking.

This Cat Just Sits & Plots All Day Long:

Plotting his revenge.

What exactly is he plotting? I don’t know but, he sure looks great doing it. Ask your FB Friends what they think he’s plotting for some hilarious answers!

Squirrel Video That Doesn’t Disappoint (Wait For It!)

One word: EPIC! That was so freakin’ crazy. Spread the ninja squirrel to the masses by posting that crazy video to your newsfeed.

Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and viral videos… Just, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Try our awesome FREE Facebook App  for 100k+ Facebook statuses to choose from.