More likes per share, with these…
Awesome Status Posts for FB:
- How much better would the world be if a liars pants really did catch on fire. (*NEW* – iPhone App: Funny Status 2 5★ Ratings)
- Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
- Confidence is sexy, no matter who you are. Just don’t overdose on it, nobody likes an arrogant prick.
- I’m going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do the second day, I have no idea.
- Angry people who can’t take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can.
- No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
- Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the heck down. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
- Your cries for attention are like a car alarm at 2 o’clock in the morning…….. People only notice it because it’s annoying.
- Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you’re “good” is like expecting the bull not to charge because you’re a vegetarian.
- Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
- Some guy just blindfolded me and dragged me into a warehouse. I’m still waiting for him to say it’s a Febreeze commercial.
- The patience I have for my kids is directly proportional to the amount of people watching me.
- Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
- Considering what Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark did with their wealth, Bill Gates should be ashamed of himself.
Warning: Extreme Cute Overload:
Ah-dor-able! Spread the cuteness to the masses on your Facebook newsfeed, instagram, pinterest, or whatever the heck the cool kids are doing these days.
Guy Plays Guitar Inside of Trash Can:
Weird… yet strangely interesting. Share this fascinatingly odd video on Facebook to garner some quality responses.
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and viral videos… Just, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Try our awesome FREE Facebook App for 100k+ Facebook statuses to choose from.