Trash Man, Cute Overload, and Awesome Status Posts

More likes per share, with these…

Awesome Status Posts for FB:

  • How much better would the world be if a liars pants really did catch on fire. (*NEW* – iPhone App: Funny Status 2  5★ Ratings)
  • Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
  • Confidence is sexy, no matter who you are. Just don’t overdose on it, nobody likes an arrogant prick.
  • I’m going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do the second day, I have no idea.
  • Angry people who can’t take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can.
  • No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
  • Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the heck down.  (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  • Your cries for attention are like a car alarm at 2 o’clock in the morning…….. People only notice it because it’s annoying.
  • Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you’re “good” is like expecting the bull not to charge because you’re a vegetarian.
  • Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
  • Some guy just blindfolded me and dragged me into a warehouse. I’m still waiting for him to say it’s a Febreeze commercial.
  • The patience I have for my kids is directly proportional to the amount of people watching me.
  • Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.  (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Considering what Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark did with their wealth, Bill Gates should be ashamed of himself.

Warning: Extreme Cute Overload:

Cute Overload

Ah-dor-able! Spread the cuteness to the masses on your Facebook newsfeed, instagram, pinterest, or whatever the heck the cool kids are doing these days.

Guy Plays Guitar Inside of Trash Can:

Weird… yet strangely interesting. Share this fascinatingly odd video on Facebook to garner some quality responses.

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