Facebook Posts

Butterfly Dog, Coffee Shop Prank, & Ridiculous Status Posts

Step your status game up, share these…

20 Ridiculous Facebook Posts:

  1. Government shutdown day 8: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet.
    Worst apocalypse ever.
  2. That awkward moment when everything is silent and your phone goes off.
  3. Just keep scrolling. Got nothing.
  4. It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
  5. Usually relationships end when people get tired of pretending to be the person their partner likes.
  6. I think I dislocated my dignity.
  7. I strongly believe that when the crosswalk timer runs out a trapdoor should open and swallow the people who failed to make it across in time.
  8. Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
  9. Nice to see so many people putting so much effort into accomplishing nothing. Keep up the good work.
  10. It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
  11. Recipe for the greatest nights:
    1. Unplanned
    2. Random
    3. Spontaneous
  12. I miss you, but I’d rather not bother you.
  13. I’m not perfect. I’m original.
  14. Strict parents create the sneakiest kids.
  15. Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
  16. How I put on my pants: *Left leg*, *Right leg*, ” Wiggle*, *Wiggle*, *Jump*, *Jump*, *Squat*, *Stretch* Done.
  17. Things I’m bad at: singing. Things I do a lot: sing.
  18. “Please, tell me more about the drama in your life via Facebook.” -Nobody, ever.
  19. If you still think about it, you still care about it.
  20. I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Butterfly Dog…

butterfly dog

Love to see pups in nature! So cute 🙂

EPIC Coffee Shop Prank

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That’s a great viral advertisement for the upcoming movie, Carrie! Are you going to see it now??? Or, are you scared?

Lots of statuses, funny pics, & videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

39 points

Trash Man, Cute Overload, and Awesome Status Posts

More likes per share, with these…

Awesome Status Posts for FB:

  • How much better would the world be if a liars pants really did catch on fire. (*NEW* – iPhone App: Funny Status 2  5★ Ratings)
  • Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
  • Confidence is sexy, no matter who you are. Just don’t overdose on it, nobody likes an arrogant prick.
  • I’m going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do the second day, I have no idea.
  • Angry people who can’t take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can.
  • No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
  • Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the heck down.  (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  • Your cries for attention are like a car alarm at 2 o’clock in the morning…….. People only notice it because it’s annoying.
  • Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you’re “good” is like expecting the bull not to charge because you’re a vegetarian.
  • Whenever I lock a car up I always press the button twice in a row to let all nearby thieves know that I mean business.
  • Some guy just blindfolded me and dragged me into a warehouse. I’m still waiting for him to say it’s a Febreeze commercial.
  • The patience I have for my kids is directly proportional to the amount of people watching me.
  • Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.  (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Considering what Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark did with their wealth, Bill Gates should be ashamed of himself.

Warning: Extreme Cute Overload:

Cute Overload

Ah-dor-able! Spread the cuteness to the masses on your Facebook newsfeed, instagram, pinterest, or whatever the heck the cool kids are doing these days.

Guy Plays Guitar Inside of Trash Can:

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Weird… yet strangely interesting. Share this fascinatingly odd video on Facebook to garner some quality responses.

Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and viral videos… Just, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Try our awesome FREE Facebook App  for 100k+ Facebook statuses to choose from.

35 points

OMG Cat, Doggie Eyebrows, & Top Status Posts

Most liked statuses, just for you…

Top 15 Status Posts this week on Facebook:

  1. LIKE if you have a specific way of eating certain foods. (From our 4.5 Star Rated: Funny Status iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
  3. Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than just 5 songs in the world, right?
  4. After I put on pajamas, nothing else is going to be accomplished.
  5. If a bear wants to commit suicide, does he need a hunting license?
  6. Knowledge is knowing a Tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad.
  7. The old persons version of “WTF” is “Well, I never!”
  8. Seals are just dog mermaids. Think about it. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  9. Hey I just met you, and girl you look crazy, what brands your make-up, Crayola maybe?
  10. *Internet Connection Fail* ❒ Wait Patiently ✔ Click the refresh button a million times!
  11. That awkward moment when no one else is laughing, except for you and you can’t stop.
  12. It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
  13. Since when did bathrooms become photobooths?
  14. Flies only live for 24 hours. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those ones magically live forever! (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  15. My wallet is like an onion. When I open it.. it makes me cry.

When dogs get eyebrows, this happens:

dog eyebrows

It’s truly amazing how awesome that is. If you really want to make your friends LOL and not just have them say it, show them this picture by pointing your little mouse cursor over the puppy and clicking “CLICK HERE TO SHARE” . Enjoy your friends funny responses 🙂

OMG Cat:

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A classic viral video that still gets me every time 🙂 Share this classic with your Facebook friends for comment karma, likes, and good times in general.

Bonus Video: Perfect Robot Dance

Want more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our great Facebook App  for 11,001+ more Facebook status updates! Have a great weekend we’ll see you on Monday for more of Funny Status Updates for FB!

43 points

Top 20 Status Updates, Internet Cat, & Kid Trolls Reporter

Start an interesting Facebook conversation with these…

Top Statuses of the Week:

  1. When you judge people based on their expressions, that’s facial profiling.  (From our 4.5 Star Rated: Funny Status iOS App ★★★★★)
  2. Being faithful to your boyfriend or girlfriend should be common sense.
  3. LIKE if you slap your pockets to make sure you haven’t lost anything.
  4. 工 レo√乇 ㄚ◯∪
  5. Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.
  6. Your EX is just live proof that you can do better, A perfect EXample of what you shouldn’t want, & motivation to get what you deserve.
  7. Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.   (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  8. That awkward moment when you think someone is ignoring you when in reality you just didn’t press send.
  9. fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. liek fi yuo aer smrat.
  10. We all have that one creepy neighbor that never comes out of their house.
  11. If you’re a 90’s kid, you’re not really a kid anymore.
  12. “Everything happens for a reason.” No you just screwed up.
  13. Love today, forget yesterday and believe in a better tomorrow.
  14. Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.
  15. It takes patience to listen but it takes skill to pretend you are actually listening.
  16. I hate how after an argument I think of really clever stuff I should have said.
  17. When I’m ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring far longer than usual.
  18. Keep your heels, head, and standards high.
  19. Never tell your problems to anyone. 20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
  20. It’s impossible to say “I wasn’t talking to you” politely.  (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
Got some Witty Status Posts but, we’ve also got a lot of relationship & love status updates there! Don’t be so serious guys 🙂 Keep it funny and enjoy your weekend!

Kitteh Findz Interwebs:

Kitty Interwebs

Share that viral gem with your Facebook friends for instant meow factor.

Little Kid Trolls Reporter:

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Hahah! Those are some awesome funny faces kid, you’ve done some real good work there. Share this epic viral trolling with your friends for some extra LIKEs and interesting comments.

Need more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our great Facebook App  for 11,001+ more Facebook status updates! Have a great weekend we’ll see you Monday for more Funny Status Updates!

31 points

Strong Goldfish, Red Button, & EPIC Status Ideas

Step your Status Game up with these…

15 EPIC Status Ideas for Facebook:

  1. LKIE fi yuo cna raed tihs wihtuot a porblem baecuase yuore Asoemwe…  (From our 4.5 Star Rated: Funny Status iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
  3. “Nineteen letters long” is 19 letters long.
  4. There is NEVER a valid reason to like your own status on Facebook.
  5. I was born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
  6. Confucius says, “Man who run in front of bus get tired, but man who run behind bus get exhausted.”
  7. When you really care about someone, their happiness matters more than yours.
  8. LIKE if you remember having to REWIND a video before you returned it.  (188+LIKEs in 4 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  9. Putting in headphones and lip syncing like you wrote the damn song.
  10. Those nights when all you want to do is cuddle up next to someone and then you realize you’re single.
  11. LIKE if you constantly check your phone for no reason.
  12. True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
  13. If I’m weird around you, that means I’m comfortable with you.
  14. Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.  (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  15. When I say ‘it’s a long story’, it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.

Now, that’s one badass goldfish!

One Badass Goldfish

Never give up in life! Another classic example of David vs. Goliath. Share this inspirational picture with your Facebook friends by hovering your mouse over the picture and clicking “SHARE”.

Don’t Push the Red Button:

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Now, that’s some drama I could get into! Very well done viral video 🙂 I think everyone can enjoy that one. Post to your Timeline for LIKEs & Comments galore.

Tons more funny statuses, hilarious pictures, and amazing videos… Simply, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Try our awesome FREE Facebook App  for 100k+ Facebook statuses to choose from.

26 points

Quadruplets,Dinosaurs, & Top Facebook Status Updates

Get more LIKEs, share these…

Top 15 Facebook Status Posts for the Week:

  1. LIKE if you have like 50 t-shirts but you only wear 7 of them and complain that you have no clothes…  (From our 4.5 Star Rated: Funny Status iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. Best way to get out of a text convo: “The message could not be delivered. Please try later. Error 40044”
  3. Oh, so you’re wasted? Please continue to type long texts with perfect grammar.
  4. It takes a strong person to say sorry but a stronger person to show forgiveness.
  5. I’m trying to find a good time to tell my dogs they are adopted.
  6. That annoying moment when you close the wrong tab.
  7. Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.  (241+LIKEs in 6 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  8. That awkward run you do when a car lets you cross the street.
  9. When you’re doing something you aren’t supposed to, every small noise scares the crap out of you.
  10. When someone texts you ‘k’, just reply, “L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z”
  11. I wish people were like money so I could hold them to the light to see which ones are real.
  12. It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
  13. However many amazing things happen in your life you should always be thankful for it, remain humble, modest and respectful.
  14. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.  (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  15. Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.

It’s not everyday that you come across this sign…

Interesting Sign

Nobody tells me what to do! Share this Dinosaur-rific picture with your friends by hovering your mouse over the picture and selecting SHARE. Instant LIKEs & good karma will follow 🙂

Bonus Picture: Real Men COOK!

Imagine seeing these Quadruplets in a park…

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That would freak me out! Share this EPIC Quaruplets video by Improv Everywhere on your Facebook wall and watch your friends funny comments  & LIKEs come in by the fours.

Need more funny statuses, hilarious pictures, and amazing videos… Simply, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Try our awesome FREE Facebook App  for 100k+ Facebook statuses to choose from.

42 points

Cell Phone Elephant, Missing Dog, & Status Posts that get LIKEs

Be LIKEable, share these…

Funny Status Posts for Facebook:

  • Did you know? Its impossible to say “Good Eye Might” without sounding Australian? LIKE if you tried 🙂  (From our 4.5 Star Rated: Funny Status iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Looking at your ex and wondering “was I drunk the entire relationship?”
  • The awkward moment when you pretend die infront of your pet…and they don’t move.
  • People who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like.
  • Anyone else hate tomatoes but like ketchup?
  • I love you because we hate the same stuff.
  • Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.
  • That awkward moment when you’re trying to get over someone you have never dated.  (154+LIKEs in 4 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  • “You look tired” is just a polite way to tell someone they look like sh*t.
  • Sometimes you have to care less, in order to see if they’ll care more.
  • Do all things with love.
  • Washing your hands – sleeve starts falling down – NOOOOOOO!
  • Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.  (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.

Missing Dog Poster:

Missing Dog

Haha! Now that is an awesome dog picture 🙂 Hover your mouse over to instantly share that picture on your Facebook wall. 

Bonus Funny Pic: Facebook Girlfriend

Elephant Plays with Cell Phone:

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We’ve all seen a Cat play with an iPad but, an elephant with a cell phone is awesome! Share that with your Facebook friends for tons of comments & LIKEs.

Need more funny statuses, hilarious pictures, and amazing videos… Simply, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Try our awesome FREE Facebook App  for 100k+ Facebook statuses to choose from.

18 points

Tron Dance, Cute Horses, & Top Status Posts

Be LIKEable, share these…

Top 15 Status Updates for Facebook this week:

  1. That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious!  (From our 4.5 Star Rated: Funny Status iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. Don’t be that GUY that posts inspirational thoughts on Facebook.
  3. Good grades, enough sleep, a social life…you can pick two.
  4. Hopefully one day your life will be as cool as you make it appear on Facebook.
  5. Being so tired that you have no idea what you’re even saying anymore.
  6. It genuinely upsets me when someone doesn’t use Google.
  7. That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word. (258+LIKEs in 5 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  8. Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.
  9. Nothing says “I suck at technology” more than a sideways profile picture.
  10. Be a Stalker today: Go to someone’s Facebook profile, scroll down 6 months, and “LIKE” something.
  11. Don’t judge my choices without understanding my reasons.
  12. Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
  13. Looking back on your old Facebook pictures and thinking “What the heck was I thinking?”
  14. ” 2 ∞ & → ” – Buzz Lightyear.   (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  15. The real reason why men don’t understand women is because women don’t understand women.

Nose 2 Nose:

Cute Horse

Doesn’t get much cuter than that, folks! Hover your mouse over that picture to instantly share this cuteness on your Facebook page. The LIKEs will trot right in with those three.

Meanwhile in Japan…

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That’s the most unique dancing I’ve seen in a long time. Post that Facebook video on your newsfeed and see what your friends think of this EPIC dance performance.

Want more funny statuses, hilarious pictures, and amazing videos… Simply, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Try our awesome FREE Facebook App  for 100k+ Facebook statuses to choose from.

43 points