Epic Faceplant, Shut Up, & Creative Facebook Statuses

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Make someone laugh, share one of these…

❒ Single. ❒ Taken. ✔ Hungry
The last 2 days before the weekend are always the toughest.
I don’t recall any fairy tale romances that involve a drunk princess giving it up to a prince she met at the club on the first night.
West Virginia is like regular Virginia except it thinks Beyonce had the greatest video of all time.
Now that their secret is out are we just going to call them ‘The Service’?
If history repeats itself, I’m totally getting a dinosaur.
I am super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy, but I’m also wearing a cape.
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
We should hang out and stare at our phones.
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
Give me ALL THE COFFEE.
Everyone is normal. Until you get to know them.
My body is in Thursday but my mind is in Friday.
I either read for 4 hours straight or don’t read for 5 months. There is no in between.
Looks and money don’t last, but someone who makes you laugh is forever.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you’re a terrible person and had it coming.
I love when people find me as funny as I find myself.
Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?
Pay day becomes far less exciting after you pay your bills 🙁

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU8Kh3gEHcE[/youtube]

And, on that day… a very valuable lesson was learned.

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