Robin Williams Tribute, Being an Adult, and Ridiculous Facebook Statuses

Have a great weekend, share one of these…

20 Ridiculous Facebook Statuses:

  1. Do you ever just smell an old perfume, or hear an old song, or pass an old hangout spot and kinda break inside for a couple minutes?
  2. What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar…and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
  3. Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
  4. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
  5. Don’t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your ‘team of writers’
  6. If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say “science appreciates you”.
  7. Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
  8. Law enforcement’s cracking down on texting while driving, but there’s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
  9. Never feel bad for getting excited over small things. good hair day? Brag about it. Two sodas from the vending machine? Throw a party!
  10. I have a girlfriend… oh wait, no. That’s a fridge. I have a fridge.
  11. I just hope someday they look back on my life and say, “that guy rode a bear”.
  12. I’m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
  13. You said you didn’t want to text your ex girlfriend, Tequila determined that was a lie.
  14. If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
  15. Chuck Norris got shot. We are now in the hospital, where the bullet is in critical condition.
  16. I’m beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
  17. Adults are allowed to buy alcohol because we have to put up with ridiculous shit from ridiculous people all day long.
  18. I have purchased thousands of bobby pins in my lifetime. I currently have about 2.
  19. If you lose your shoe at the end of the night, you’re not Cinderella. You’re probably just drunk.
  20. I’m sorry I went into survival mode when you tickled me.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

The BEST Robin Williams Tribute Video You’ll See, Only 1 Minute Long:

That was beautiful. I’m tearing up 🙁 RIP Robin Williams!

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