Have a great weekend, share one of these…
20 Ridiculous Facebook Statuses:
- Do you ever just smell an old perfume, or hear an old song, or pass an old hangout spot and kinda break inside for a couple minutes?
- What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar…and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
- Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
- Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
- Don’t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your ‘team of writers’
- If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say “science appreciates you”.
- Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
- Law enforcement’s cracking down on texting while driving, but there’s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
- Never feel bad for getting excited over small things. good hair day? Brag about it. Two sodas from the vending machine? Throw a party!
- I have a girlfriend… oh wait, no. That’s a fridge. I have a fridge.
- I just hope someday they look back on my life and say, “that guy rode a bear”.
- I’m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
- You said you didn’t want to text your ex girlfriend, Tequila determined that was a lie.
- If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
- Chuck Norris got shot. We are now in the hospital, where the bullet is in critical condition.
- I’m beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
- Adults are allowed to buy alcohol because we have to put up with ridiculous shit from ridiculous people all day long.
- I have purchased thousands of bobby pins in my lifetime. I currently have about 2.
- If you lose your shoe at the end of the night, you’re not Cinderella. You’re probably just drunk.
- I’m sorry I went into survival mode when you tickled me.
The BEST Robin Williams Tribute Video You’ll See, Only 1 Minute Long:
That was beautiful. I’m tearing up 🙁 RIP Robin Williams!