Dubstep Bird, Taco Bell, & Best Status Updates

This week on Facebook…

Best Facebook Status Updates:

  1. Dinosaurs were just lies fed to us to cover up the existence of Pokemon.
  2. Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
  3. I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
  4. Everyday is a great day to curl up with a really good book and then completely ignore it because, ya know, the Internet.
  5. Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
  6. I think I may be emotionally constipated…I haven’t given a crap in days.
  7. You think you’re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone else’s shower.
  8. That awkward moment when your mom compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than you.
  9. That awesome moment when the teacher is telling stories of their lives thus killing the time.
  10. If I ever say “Oh wow” to you, it doesn’t mean I’m impressed. It means you’re stupid.
  11. Before you act, listen. Before you react, think. Before you spend, earn, Before you pray, forgive. Before you post, check for typos.
  12. People cannot afford to lose brain cells……Therefore, give a piece of ass instead of a piece of your mind.
  13. WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
  14. You think I’m not online. But I’m always here. Even if I’m not posting. I’m here. Scrolling. Judging.
  15. The only thing violent video games have ever done is make me sit in the same spot for fourteen straight hours.
  16. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I’m a damn good screw.
  17. Why do old people with no teeth always look like they’re chewing something?
  18. Love is being a wallpaper on someone’s phone.
  19. Nothing is more annoying than getting the window seat on the plane and having the guy next to you look out the window the whole damn time.
  20. Why are people surprised by shark attacks? If a shark walked into my house, I’d kill it.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Taco Bell wins at Social Networking:

Taco Bell wins Social Network Marketing.

Dubstep Bird Drops Some Sick Beats…

Pretty impressive what birds and animals in general are capable of. Share this amazing feat with your Facebook friends for guaranteed likes and comments!

Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.