This week on Facebook…
Best Facebook Status Updates:
- Dinosaurs were just lies fed to us to cover up the existence of Pokemon.
- Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
- I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
- Everyday is a great day to curl up with a really good book and then completely ignore it because, ya know, the Internet.
- Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
- I think I may be emotionally constipated…I haven’t given a crap in days.
- You think you’re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone else’s shower.
- That awkward moment when your mom compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than you.
- That awesome moment when the teacher is telling stories of their lives thus killing the time.
- If I ever say “Oh wow” to you, it doesn’t mean I’m impressed. It means you’re stupid.
- Before you act, listen. Before you react, think. Before you spend, earn, Before you pray, forgive. Before you post, check for typos.
- People cannot afford to lose brain cells……Therefore, give a piece of ass instead of a piece of your mind.
- WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
- You think I’m not online. But I’m always here. Even if I’m not posting. I’m here. Scrolling. Judging.
- The only thing violent video games have ever done is make me sit in the same spot for fourteen straight hours.
- I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I’m a damn good screw.
- Why do old people with no teeth always look like they’re chewing something?
- Love is being a wallpaper on someone’s phone.
- Nothing is more annoying than getting the window seat on the plane and having the guy next to you look out the window the whole damn time.
- Why are people surprised by shark attacks? If a shark walked into my house, I’d kill it.
Taco Bell wins at Social Networking:
Dubstep Bird Drops Some Sick Beats…
Pretty impressive what birds and animals in general are capable of. Share this amazing feat with your Facebook friends for guaranteed likes and comments!