Careful, don’t read these while you’re sipping a drink…
Funny Statuses Facebook:
- Never chase someone. Chase your dreams then they will follow.
- People who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people.
- Not to get technical… but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
- I hate texting people who don’t use smileys. I feel like I’m texting Kristen Stewart.
- If you can’t laugh repeatedly on the same joke, why do you cry over and over again on the same issue?
- You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants – not both. Pick one.
- With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
- One of the saddest days of my life was when I heard that bears sleep for half the year and I realized I had been born the wrong species.
- It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
- You should just fall in love with me already. So I can immediately lose interest and we can both move on with our lives.
- Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It’s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
- One of the fake rooms at Ikea should just be a couple fighting as they try to put the furniture together.
- Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
- Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he’s a keeper.
- Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.
- Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
- My voicemail greeting is now a Justin Bieber song. if you can make it to the end of the song without hanging up then I’ll listen to the message, because obviously it’s important!
- Life is simple. Live it.
- The quickest way to get someone’s attention is to no longer want it.
- I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his drivers license.
Crazy Optical Illusion:
Can you see the 4 perfectly round circles? If you can, you’re smarter than 80% of the population.
ROFL! That is amazing 🙂 He’s better than most DJ’s you see today. Well done, pooch!