Cutest Frog, CowFriends, and Hilarious Status Updates

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Hilarious Status Updates:

1. LIKE if you don’t use twist ties to close a bag of bread…you just spin the bag and tuck it under the loaf of bread.
2. That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent.”
3. Remember guy’s, flies cause disease… so keep yours closed.
4. Sometimes it’s too hard to hate everyone all at once, so I hate people in shifts.
5. There’s plenty of fish in the sea… I just suck at fishing.
6. I’m not saying that I’ve been online too long, I’m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts.
7. Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.
8. They were going to make headphones just for women but the name Dre Beats Women didn’t sound good.
9. Shouldn’t you have to pass a drug test to get a welfare check since I have too pass one to earn it for you?
10. Showers are amazing. They make you feel nice and clean, make you sound like a professional singer, and help you make all of life’s decisions
11. The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
12. The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
13. I can always tell how much I really like a guy by how long it takes me to delete his text messages.
14. They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower….bastards.
15. The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
16. Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
17. Not having to set an alarm for the next day is one of the best feelings in the world.
18. If you think someone is staring at you: 1. Yawn 2. If they yawn, they were staring.
19. That moment when you’re laughing so hard and you try to stop but you look at the person and laugh again.
20. There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS

FacT: Cows Have Best Friends

Good to see the cows being all friendly and what not.

Worlds Cutest Frog:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBkWhkAZ9ds[/youtube]

Dat Noise! So cute 🙂 Just like a squeeze toy that I imagined.