Step your status game up, share these…
Witty Status Updates:
- My voice sounds great when I’m singing with my earphones on, Then I take them off and I realize I sound like a dying walrus.
- Home is where you can connect to the Wi-Fi automatically.
- I need a extra-large fridge for my food.
- That awkward moment when you see a vegetarian eating animal crackers.
- I can never open a Snapchat that’s a video if people are around, I don’t trust my friends at all.
- i never actually say hi to my friends, I just make creepy faces at them from a distance.
- Music is WAAAAY better when it’s loud.
- People get way too dramatic when telling a waiter they haven’t left room for desert.
- Thanks to M&M ads, I constantly hear tiny screams whenever I eat them.
- Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
- What if they read a list of everything you’ve ever typed into Google before entering Heaven.
- If there’s an emoji by your name in my phone, you’re doing something right.
- I’m so glad my car has that alarm for when I don’t have my seatbelt on that reminds me to turn my radio up.
- I declare today, “Hit that dumb person you’ve always wanted to punch in the face day.”
- From now on if you type, “LOL” you should have to submit a video proving it.
- *Sends risky text* 15 seconds later no reply. “Oh God what have I done!”
- Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
- Remember when people would literally get mad at you if you didn’t put them in your top 8 friends on Myspace?
- Before you “assume” try this crazy method called “asking”.
- I like to make up words just to keep my auto correct in check.
99 Problems but Your Order Ain’t One:
LOL, Well played good sir, well played!
Dog Vs. Blower:
That puppy either loves or hates the blower. Can’t decide.