Score easy likes, share these…
Epic Status Posts:
- Things that make me happy:
– Lazy weekends.
– Certain People.
– Cute texts.
– Concert tickets.
- Still no cooler feeling than catching a tossed pair of keys with one hand.
- 70% of Facebook users have a Girlfriend/Boyfriend… LIKE if you love food.
- My tummy just growled so loud the dog barked at it.
- What are you doing? Come on over, we’re going to grill some steaks and drink wine. Pick up some steaks and wine on your way.
- Girlfriend’s parents gave me a Best Buy gift card, which will be turned into a video game that causes me to ignore her for the next 30 days.
- If I was homeless I would just commit a crime.
- I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself “Enough is enough, that’s plenty of awesome for one day”
- The “Earth” without “Art” is just “Eh”.
- “Hey, it’s been 6 seconds, go check your phone again!” – My Brain
- Live Simply. Dream Big. Be Grateful. Give Love. Laugh Lots.
- I’m watching this guy dance like nobody’s watching. Somebody should say something.
- Have you ever tried breathing out of your mouth and nose at the same time? Are you trying it now?
- I just realized Beauty and the Beast can be summed up with two words: Stockholm Syndrome.
- Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
- They’ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it’s awesome – it’s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps…. everything!
- Saying, “That’s crazy” when you haven’t been paying attention to what someone’s saying.
- I’m just a simple man, spreading the message that you can use two pancakes to make a sandwich. Am I a prophet? That’s for history to decide.
- I have 4 personalities: 1. When I’m alone. 2. When I’m around friends. 3. When I’m around my parents. 4. When I’m around someone I like.
- You think I’m not online. But I’m always here. Even if I’m not updating my status. I’m here. Scrolling. Judging.
Apprehensive Kitty is Suspicious of You!
Dem eyes! Dat Look!
Robot Quadruple Backflip…
Won’t be long now before Terminator is real.