Dog Accident, Bank Service, & 20 Ridiculous Status Updates

Editorial Team

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Make your weekend last longer, share one of these..

20 Ridiculous Facebook Status Updates:

I basically have two moods, either lets do something spontaneous and awesome, or let’s just lay in bed all day and forget the world exists.
That awkward moment when someone catches you making weird faces at yourself in the mirror.
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
If I’m lying awake in bed, I’m usually thinking about things that will never ever happen ever.
Your brain is the only organ aware of its own existence.
Why does tasty mean that a thing tastes good and smelly mean that a thing smells bad?
You know that thing when you get super motivated to do something and then the second you get home, you’re like…nah? Yeah, I have that.
If I’m not already out, I’m not going out.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
It’s not you. It’s my ears. They just make you sound so boring and dull.
That meltdown you just had made it really easy to see your side of things.
I promise I’m a lot nicer than my “work face”.
We used to walk around blockbuster for an hour before deciding, now we do the same thing scrolling Netflix,I now have access to even more movies yet less I want to watch.
If the NSA and IRS teamed up, I wouldn’t have to do my taxes.
If I were to ever become a cross dresser, I’d name myself Amanda. Because I’m “a man, duh.”
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
Your brain is the only organ aware of its own existence.
If you have a 3d printer, you could torrent Lego sets.
There should be restaurants based on popular fast food restaurants that would cost slightly more and take slightly longer, but the food served would actually look how it does in the commercials.
A group of gay people should be called “a pride”.