Germany, My Favorite People, and 20 Great Facebook Statuses

Happy Monday, make your friends smile share one of these..

20 Great Facebook Statuses:

  1. Taken 4 should be set in a tibetan monastery. Liam Neeson has found his daughter, and his wife, now he must find his inner self.
  2. That awkward moment when you try to zoom in on Instagram and remember that you’re an idiot.
  3. Sometimes I use big words that I don’t fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
  4. Downloading 97%…
    *downloading failed*
  5. On Earth, curiosity drives scientists. On Mars, scientists drive Curiosity.
  6. Why do they even include 2015 as an option when selecting your birth year online like you fresh out the womb ready to join gmail.
  7. I give myself the best presents.
  8. Why am I living where air hurts my face?
  9. I use excessive sarcasm because punching people is frowned upon in our culture.
  10. People make me tired.
  11. I think we need to establish a minimum IQ before allowing people access to the internet.
  12. Smelling another person should be a choice.
  13. Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you’re 3 and your parents are idiots.
  14. The more periods she writes after “ok…” the less okay things are.
  15. Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
  16. Women can say “what a dick” as an insult or a compliment for men.
  17. People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
  18. Smartphones should have an option to deactivate the swipe feature when showing someone a picture.
  19. Leonardo is two syllables longer than Leonard, but is only one letter longer.
  20. If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Meanwhile In Germany..


I found that wayyyy too funny! Feel free to like or share if you enjoyed.

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