Dancing Time, Free Hugs, & Clever Status Updates

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Clever Facebook Status Updates:

  1. That awkward moment when you’re trying to dodge someone, and you both step the same way… twice.
  2. I wish my computer would stop asking me stupid questions. Of course I’m sure I want to clear my browser history.
  3. The thing that sucks about hanging out with my friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone and know how little I answer their texts.
  4. My life is that 2:30 feeling.
  5. If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
  6. The only thing I ever win playing McDonald’s Monopoly is 10 pounds.
  7. They say that spontaneity is the spice of life but I don’t see it on the shelf…. so I’m going with Paprika.
  8. Ironic how when someone tells you to get real it’s typically because you were exactly that with them.
  9. Why doesn’t Facebook notify you when someone unfriends you?
  10. If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
  11. You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
  12. Instead of “lol” try “lsimhbiwfefmtalol”. Laughing silently in my head because it wasn’t funny enough for me to actually laugh out loud.
  13. That was insensitive… I asked you to stop being stupid without considering how incredibly difficult that must be for you.
  14. Doctors write the prescriptions illegibly so you can’t see that it says: “This one had insurance. Don’t kill him.”
  15. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” -Steve Jobs
  16. If you don’t cuss when you drive you aren’t paying enough attention to the road.
  17. I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
  18. I never use the phrase, “Your guess is as good as mine” because, well… it’s not.
  19. Alarm clocks. Because every morning should begin with a mini heart attack.
  20. Fact: Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Free Hugs taken to the next level:

Capitalism at its finest.

Capitalism never ceases to amaze me. Wonder what the Deluxe bonus gets you? Ask your Facebook friends if they’d pay for the upgrade!

Dancing Time…

That’s what they call a “MOMENT” captured perfectly for all of YouTube history to come 🙂 Share this beloved dancing moment with the rest of your Facebook crowd to brighten someones day!

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