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Witty Facebook Statuses:
- Whenever I see “person is typing” for five minutes, and then finally…..”lol”, I assume you typed, “I love you, have my babies!”, but then chickened out.
- Not answering the question answers the question.
- I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
- Overhearing someone ask their friend a question sucks when you know the answer, but can’t exhibit your amazing knowledge without seeming like a weirdo for listening to their conversation.
- Some people need to realize that having fat on their bodies doesn’t make them fat – it makes them alive.
- Its a bit awkward when you don’t realize how many curse words and sexual innuendos a song has in it until you’re in the car listening to it with your parents.
- The cheaper the phone, the harder it is to break.
- Why do people say look when they want me to listen?
- Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
- I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
- That awkward moment when you see someone ridiculous out in public & you try to sneak a pic of them but they catch you.
- Hey Amish person reading this: Busted.
- When you focus on problems, you will have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, you will have more opportunities.
- Ever want to click on someones status and edit it for them?
- What’s the best way to casually ask your neighbor for his wifi password?
- Women want someone that looks good on their arm, holds all their crap, and compliments their shoes. Basically men are just purses.
- Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend. You owe me.
Yo! Peace, Son!
Capturing a moment, that’s what it’s all about folks. Having a camera at the right place and the right time!
WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS… ANYWHERE!
That was terrifying. I can’t believe someone would be so stupid to do that and then post it to the interwebs. The least we can do is share his absolute insanity… Hopefully it’s fake.