Vaccines, Forgot How 2 Slide, & 20 Crazy Facebook Statuses

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Make Monday suck a little less, share one of these..

Valentine’s Day is next week, so if you have a crush on someone, make sure you hurry up and keep it a secret forever so you never get hurt.
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
School is an endless cycle of “i just need to make it through this week” every week.
Dads only get asked one question: “Where’s mom?”
I’m sorry for the things I said when it was winter.
Just ate one serving of chips. 15 times in a row. Twice.
That awkward moment when you’re trying not to look when someone is staring at you.
I can dance for hours, but after two minutes of running, I’m practically dying.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
Whenever the brain and the heart fight it’s always the liver that suffers.
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
I consider myself a pretty chill person. Until that moment I think a bug is crawling on me.
My greatest accomplishment today is keeping my mouth shut.
When a female asks, what are you thinking? That’s a trick question. Shut up and ask her how she got so beautiful.
Ed Sheeran songs either make you want to cry or fall in love. There’s no in between.
Guy on plane : So, where are you going to?
Me : I’m guessing it’s the same place you’re going.
Congrats to Sam, the most talented child from Will and Jada’s family.
Obama need a Grammy for those gas prices.
Your outdated references make me want to shoop.