Score more likes, share one of these…
20 Clever Facebook Status:
- Stay warm. By staying in bed.
- THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD IS SEEING PEOPLE SMILING BECAUSE OF YOU.
- I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
- Me: I am so over selfies.
Him: Well, stop taking them.
Me: I didn’t mean mine; I meant everyone else’s. - Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
- Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
- My spirit animal is that chicken who keeps crossing the road for reasons no one can figure.
- How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie.
- What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? A investigator. Hahaha I’m so sorry. No I’m not.
- Maybe Jabba was extremely thin for a Hutt, you don’t know.
- Life is like a box of chocolates-I won’t have one on Valentine’s Day.
- Chip clips are for quitters.
- The cops knocked on my door and asked me where I was between 5 and 6….I told them kindergarten.
- For my dog’s birthday I rented a school bus and drove him around with all the windows down.
- Personal trainer: So what’s your goal? Me: I wanna look good in pictures that I’m not the one taking.
- Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
- You can tell how much a woman hates her husband by how short she cuts her hair.
- That awkward moment when a nap becomes sleep and you wake up confused about what year you’re in.
- I’ve been saving up my tickets for 27 years sir, and I would like to purchase this very Chuck E Cheese.
- If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors and all of them got laid.
Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…
Dog Saves His Human..
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7V0icsk89IA[/youtube]
Ya, we know he wasn’t really drowning. But, it’s good to know your dog would save you – just in case. Share if you loved it 🙂
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App.