Go ahead, borrow one for some quick laughs…
20 Great Facebook Statuses to Steal:
- I’m going to start telling women that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
- I’ll start working when my coffee does.
- I love when someone remembers something I told them a long time ago.
- The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled up, I’ve forgotten where I was going.
- Autocorrect changed “you’re so wise” to “you’re so wide”, and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.
- Unplanned moments are always better than planned ones.
- I didn’t text you to exercise my fingers.
- No one looks stupid when they’re having fun.
- Don’t eat fruit ever. Just stick to ice cream. #ThankYouSnowWhite #DisneyLifeLessons
- You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
- When your girl says “I’m fine,” be prepared to either run for your life or kiss her ass.
- I don’t know how some people do it “4 minute shower”
lol it takes me like 4 minutes to even get the water to be the right temperature.
- That awkward moment when you have to stare at a text for five minutes to figure out how to reply.
- So you’re saying that “Mario Brothers” implies that Luigi’s name is Luigi Mario and Mario’s name is Mario Mario?
- When life gives you lemons. Life probably stole those lemons from some nice old lady. Because life is an asshole.
- When you eat dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, you have to make dinosaur roars before eating. Dems the rules.
- I’m proud to announce that I’m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don’t know we’re racing.
- Some are born crazy, some achieve craziness, and some have craziness thrust upon them.
- It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
- The fact that Burger King can sell you 10 chicken nuggets for $1.49 should concern you more than it should entice you.
This Cat is Crazy (Here’s Proof):
Is Cat Parkour a thing? Because, this cat would totally dominate. Share/Like if you enjoyed.
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