Merry Christmas! Time for our Funny Christmas Status Update spectacular…
Funny Christmas Status Updates:
- Hope your holiday is full of family and fun. And good luck combining those two!
- All I want for Christmas is for these calories to not count.
- Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
- I knew you were coming so I baked a cake. It was delicious.
- You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer but you can’t take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?
- All I want for Christmas is you… and pizza too.
- Everyone’s getting into relationships. What am I getting into? MORE FOOD BRB.
- I bet the frankincense guy was all like, “Let’s put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us.”
- Two tips for Christmas:
1) Forget the past, you can’t change it.
2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
- My goal in 2015 is to accomplish the goals of 2014 which I should have done in 2013 because I made a promise in 2012 and planned in 2011.
- Maybe in 2015 people will text me back.
- Single bells
Single all the way.
- “At least you love me.” I say to my pet as I hold them against my chest as they try to get away
- Top 40 radio sucks because the same 6 artists sing 100 songs; Christmas music sucks because 100 artists sing the same 6 songs.
- Google should have a Christmas Season Street View that shows houses with Christmas lights.
- What if the zombie apocalypse hits on Christmas Eve and most the world is forever decorated in some twisted, undead Christmas motif?
- If playing the same music constantly is a form of torture, do shops at christmas torture their employees?
- “Merry Christmas” is just a really specific version of “Have a nice day”
- I’ve come to terms with the fact that it never “feels like Christmas” anymore because I’ll never be as happy as I was when I was a child.
- Home Alone is like a kid’s version of Die Hard.
Unexpectedly Awesome Christmas Gift:
The pure joy in that boys face is priceless. He’s going to be an amazing big brother.