Morning Person, Baby Shots, and 20 Clever Facebook Status Updates

Almost Christmas! Yay 🙂 Until then, make someone smile and share one of these…

20 Clever Facebook Status Updates:

  1. Best pickup line : wanna get pizza?
  2. I’m 500% done with today and about 36% done with tomorrow.
  3. Sorry Folgers, but the best part about waking up is going back to bed after you pee.
  4. “don’t be sad”
    Thanks you cured me.
  5. That awkward moment when everyone else understands it except you, but you act like you did, because you’ll just Google it later.
  6. I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
  7. You know nothing of struggle until your headphones only work when you hold the wire in a certain position.
  8. I’d leave my house more often if it wasn’t for people. Just, like, all of them.
  9. Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when I’m awake.
  10. If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
  11. Over the river and through the woods… Yep. When you’re driving on icy roads, you can end up pretty much anywhere.
  12. A careful driver is one who just saw the car ahead of him get a traffic ticket.
  13. One day you’re the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you’re toast.
  14. My one regret in life will be that I didn’t spend enough time staring at my phone.
  15. Everyone has a soft side. I spend too much time sitting on mine.
  16. Well well well, if it isn’t the problems I keep running from.
  17. I look best with the filters called “lights off” and “darkness”
  18. Women- God’s version of Rubik cube.
  19. Trust me, no one’s spreading rumors about you. We’re too busy talking about ourselves here.
  20. I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now I’m drunk.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Best Doctor in the World:

That baby had a great visit to the doctor 🙂 I wish all doctor visits could be like this! Please feel free to like or share if you enjoyed.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. Make sure to stop by tomorrow for our special 2014 Christmas Status Update spectacular. Happy Holidays!