Cat Walks Dog, Cute Lion, and Top Funny Facebook Statuses

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Top Funny Facebook Statuses

  1. Law & Order is Scooby Doo for adults.
  2. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for and everybody is being a dick and not letting me cheat.
  3. If my job was to browse the Internet and play on my phone, I don’t know what I’d do to slack off, but I’m sure I’d find something.
  4. I hope I never go to jail because I haven’t memorized a phone number since 2001.
  5. Are the Pringles and Monopoly guy related?
  6. Anger hurts you, not the person you’re angry at. Don’t waste life getting mad all the time.
  7. My bracket has more x’s than Taylor Swift.
  8. They really should consider making “Oh crap! I missed my exit!” exits.
  9. Sure, there’s plenty of fish in the sea. But there’s also sharks, seaweed & toxic waste.
  10. When icons bounce up & down on my Mac toolbar demanding attention, I want to whack them. Just like in that the mole game.
  11. There’s always that one jerk in the gym who thinks he’s competing in the friggin’ Olympics.
  12. Whenever I accidentally push a “pull” door, I keep pushing until the hinges snap and act like that was my plan the whole time.
  13. The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to “watch a movie” is actually watching a movie.
  14. Two tips for faster jogging (1) hot guy in front of you; (2) creepy dude behind you.
  15. Feminists, do you hold doors? Do you carry your man’s stuff when shopping? Do you apologize for no reason? Don’t talk about equal rights.
  16. Never assume that somebody loves you just because they are sweet sometimes. Make sure you’re not their “when I’m bored” person.
  17. I was just about to get offended by a stranger on the Internet but then I remembered I’m not an idiot.
  18. Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That’s not lazy, that’s proactive.
  19. Narcissist? Let’s just calm down with the big words and keep this conversation about me.
  20. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Super Cute (and massive) Lion:

Cute Lion

That’s less of the “King of the Jungle” and more of the “Wizard of Oz” Lion.

Cat Walking Dog Home:

Guess we know who’s the boss of that family 😉 Share this video with your Facebook friends for instant likes, karma, and comment love.

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