Can’t think of what to say? We got you…
Top Funny Status Updates:
- I live for two reasons… 1. I was born. 2. I haven’t died yet.
- My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.
- I do exercise. I do one sit up everyday…when I get out of bed in the morning
- Thought for the day… very little is needed to make life happy.
- Silence is better than bullshit.
- When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.
- Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.
- I don’t know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
- Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye AFTER you hit send..
- Come on people if you’re gonna walk at night smoke a cigarette or something so I can see you, can’t be having any more dents in my car.
- If I don’t remember what I did, don’t ruin it for me by reminding me..
- What they don’t tell you is that being part of the problem is way more fun.
- I would like to thank running for helping me lose weight and feel better. However, I would also like to thank pre-run procrastination for getting kitchen cleaned, my laundry folded and for this status update.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
- I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
- That Awkward moment when you realize no one liked you’re status 8 hours later.
- If you’re camping and you have WiFi, you’re not camping.
- Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday.. Satan slips that one in. He’s a sneaky bastard.
- The best feeling: when you wake up at midnight and realize you still have more hours to sleep.
- SAD NEWS – Please join me in remembering YET ANOTHER great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Dough Boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough Boy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the Oven. Services were held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
What a handsome young gentlemen… Bring a smile to your Facebook by sharing this classy gent.
Disney Parody Video:
That is one talented and funny guy! Share this hilarious parody video!