Cat Translator, Flirting, and 20 Hilarious Facebook Statuses

Editorial Team

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Make Monday fun for someone, share one of these..

20 Hilarious Facebook Statuses:

Do you ever wanna listen to music but every song is just not the right song?
My diet could be described as “unchaperoned child at a birthday party”.
Things I Should Be Doing
• so many
Things I Am Not Currently Doing
• any of that
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
RIP to all the money I spent on food in 2014…I could’ve been rich by now.
I used to think fresh air was free until I bought a bag of potato chips.
I burn like 2000 calories every-time i put my bed sheets on by myself.
50 Shades of Gray is only sexy because the guy is a billionaire. If he was poor, it would be an episode of SVU.
Ways to get to my heart:
• food
• that’s pretty much it
Girl: I’ll just have a salad.
Waiter: and for you, sir?
Me: I’ll be giving her half of my food.
At the gym doing shoulder shrugs, eye rolls and door lunges.
Everything happens for a reason. And sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid.
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s vomit on his sweater already.
WebMD: TYPHOID FEVER
That awkward moment when you’re in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize that youve been staring at someone directly
You don’t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent’s house.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
Texting “Good Morning, Beautiful” will change a girl’s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
Instead of divorce, how about a marriage license you have to renew every year.