Candy Challenge, Pimp My Hide, and Terrible Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share these…

20 Terribly Awesome Status Updates:

1. I don’t need to flirt I will seduce you with my awkwardness.
2. Back before Wal-Mart existed, you would have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
3. Falling in love when lonely is a lot like shopping when hungry, you end up with a bunch of shit you don’t need.
4. Logic is an art of the mind. Belief is a choice of the heart.
5. It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
6. Life would be so much better if there were pinatas places strategically throughout the day.
7. LIKE if you do this: Waking up and checking your Facebook like its the morning paper.
8. What is it about paper towels that makes me always want to use more than one?
9. Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
10. That awkward moment when you’re lying in bed, wishing you had magic powers because you’re too lazy to turn off the lights.
11. The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can’t arrest me without a warrant so he knows he’s dealing with a pro.
12. I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
13. I give serious props to prince charming for kissing sleeping beauty… I can’t imagine how bad her breath must have been after sleeping that long.
14. How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
15. I’m done looking for someone who has everything I want. I’ll settle for someone who doesn’t have most of the things I don’t want.
16. I stop listening when people talk too slow.
17. Facebook needs a navigation system with alerts like, “scroll fast to avoid disgusting pictures.”
18. If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
19. Why are you texting me to call you?
20. There are two kinds of friends: 1. Friends with benefits 2. Friends with potential.

PS4 Giveaway | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Pimp My Hide

Dang, that’s a really cool Camel! Who knew they were works of art 🙂

When Mom Leaves Kids With Dad, this happens…

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSaIvOURzyI[/youtube]

That’s about right 🙂 Leave the kids with dad long enough and they’re up to no good!