Make your weekend last longer, share these…
20 Terribly Awesome Status Updates:
- I don’t need to flirt I will seduce you with my awkwardness.
- Back before Wal-Mart existed, you would have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
- Falling in love when lonely is a lot like shopping when hungry, you end up with a bunch of shit you don’t need.
- Logic is an art of the mind. Belief is a choice of the heart.
- It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
- Life would be so much better if there were pinatas places strategically throughout the day.
- LIKE if you do this: Waking up and checking your Facebook like its the morning paper.
- What is it about paper towels that makes me always want to use more than one?
- Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
- That awkward moment when you’re lying in bed, wishing you had magic powers because you’re too lazy to turn off the lights.
- The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can’t arrest me without a warrant so he knows he’s dealing with a pro.
- I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
- I give serious props to prince charming for kissing sleeping beauty… I can’t imagine how bad her breath must have been after sleeping that long.
- How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
- I’m done looking for someone who has everything I want. I’ll settle for someone who doesn’t have most of the things I don’t want.
- I stop listening when people talk too slow.
- Facebook needs a navigation system with alerts like, “scroll fast to avoid disgusting pictures.”
- If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
- Why are you texting me to call you?
- There are two kinds of friends: 1. Friends with benefits 2. Friends with potential.
Pimp My Hide
Dang, that’s a really cool Camel! Who knew they were works of art 🙂
When Mom Leaves Kids With Dad, this happens…
That’s about right 🙂 Leave the kids with dad long enough and they’re up to no good!