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Witty Facebook Statuses:
- Some people live life in the fast lane. I’ve spent most of mine on the side of the road, hood open, staring at a smoking engine, scratching my head.
- My vocabulary can beat your vocabulary’s ass, arse, bum, buttocks, rear end, booty, backside, tush, tuckus and badonkadonk.
- That awkward moment when someone asks “what’s wrong” and they’re the problem.
- Being afraid of North Korea is like calling the FBI because someone threatened you in a YouTube comment.
- I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
- ” I just launched a new fragrance!” – a great way to announce a fart.
- My Living Will says it’s okay to pull the plug on me, but I’d like them to at least try jiggling it a few times first.
- A woman without curves is like jeans without pockets…you don’t know where to put your hands.
- Rumors are as dumb as the people who started them, and as fake as the people who help spread them.
- Firetrucks & Ambulances would be much more effective if they were to replace that annoying siren with the song “Move Bitch” by Ludacris.
- One of my favorite hobbies before Facebook was having a life.
- Dear ear buds, Please refraining from having wild sex in my pocket and getting tangled Thnx (Sick of Tangled Earbuds? Check out Zipbuds!)
- I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
- Don’t you love it when your Phone is about to fall, and your earphones save it’s life?
- I used to say that I wanted to make ridiculous amounts of money. I think I should have chosen my words more carefully.
- As long as your mistakes are new ones, you can argue that you’re making progress.
- I have life moments when all I can do is stop and say “Seriously?”
- Nothing sucks more than that moment in an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
- Went for a mile run yesterday. Stupid ice cream man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
- If you can’t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are!
Page 2 of Status Updates… | Free Timeline Cover Photos
Bengal Kitty:
Hey there little fella! Wanna play?!?! Share or LIKE this post if you think that’s one cute Bengal Kitty!
Shoes for Dogs?? Yup.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VogKiz2vt4[/youtube]
That was just plain ridiculous…ly funny!
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