Is there a such thing as Insurance for Facebook? Probably not, but you sure can be sure you’ll get more likes with these…
LIKE Insurance for Facebook:
- Being in the friend zone is like an employer turning you down for a job, then calling you regularly bitching about the person they did hire.
- I don’t argue with people who I can remove from my life by pressing a button.
- Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
- I’m depressed but, not “posting cryptic lyrics on Facebook” depressed.
- Funny how seeing someone from high school suddenly means I’m doing “really well” and “love my job”
- Popularity allows you to live with others, but integrity lets you live with yourself.
- Don’t let the things you cannot control take control of you.
- The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He’ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
- I’m in my dentist’s waiting room practicing my lies about flossing.
- I’m giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
- The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.
- Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
- I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
- I am not defined by my past. I am prepared by it.
- I can’t even take a picture these days without someone yelling at me “You better not put that on Facebook!”
- Nothing says “mentally ill and loving it” like stuffed animals in your car window.
- We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
- If time is money, I’m running out of time…
- My lady asked me if we could go out to somewhere expensive the other night, so I took her to the gas station.
- You can’t keep playing with someone’s feelings just cause you’re unsure of how you feel.
Hope this guy had Car Insurance…
Golf Cart Hovercraft:
Now that is AWESOME! Do want! Ask your friends what they think of that beast!