Score LIKE Insurance for Facebook..

Is there a such thing as Insurance for Facebook? Probably not, but you sure can be sure you’ll get more likes with these…

LIKE Insurance for Facebook:

  1. Being in the friend zone is like an employer turning you down for a job, then calling you regularly bitching about the person they did hire.
  2. I don’t argue with people who I can remove from my life by pressing a button.
  3. Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
  4. I’m depressed but, not “posting cryptic lyrics on Facebook” depressed.
  5. Funny how seeing someone from high school suddenly means I’m doing “really well” and “love my job”
  6. Popularity allows you to live with others, but integrity lets you live with yourself.
  7. Don’t let the things you cannot control take control of you.
  8. The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He’ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
  9. I’m in my dentist’s waiting room practicing my lies about flossing.
  10. I’m giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
  11. The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.
  12. Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
  13. I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
  14. I am not defined by my past. I am prepared by it.
  15. I can’t even take a picture these days without someone yelling at me “You better not put that on Facebook!”
  16. Nothing says “mentally ill and loving it” like stuffed animals in your car window.
  17. We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
  18. If time is money, I’m running out of time…
  19. My lady asked me if we could go out to somewhere expensive the other night, so I took her to the gas station.
  20. You can’t keep playing with someone’s feelings just cause you’re unsure of how you feel.

Yesterdays Dirty Dirty Status Updates… | Sickkkkk Timeline Covers For Facebook

Hope this guy had Car Insurance…

Car Insurance Needed

Golf Cart Hovercraft:


Now that is AWESOME! Do want! Ask your friends what they think of that beast!

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