Make the weekend last longer, share these…
20 Awesome Status Updates:
- Today I tried the whole Yahoo vs Google thing. I typed “Why is there.” Yahoo gave me “Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball” and Google gave me “Why is there a drunk Chinese man doing push ups on my front lawn.” Google wins yet again
- Wishing the amazing Olympic athletes from around the world the best of luck in Sochi (finding drinking water and toilets).
- Playing Flappy Bird:
“Alright last game” *dies*
“Alright last game” *dies*
“Alright last game” *dies*
“Alright last game” *dies* - I’m not anti-social, I’m selectively social. There’s a difference.
- I can party much longer than my cell phone battery.
- My super power is finding out about really cool shit after it happens.
- Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
- The fine print on Krazy Glue reads, “The only two things this product will successfully attach are your fingers and this tube.”
- When you were a kid, your biggest decision was “Duck Hunt or Mario Bros.”
- Do you ever laugh so hard you accidentally work your abs?
- We need a set time limit for when people can say “long story short,” because it usually comes WAY too late.
- I didn’t drool… I shed mouth tears of joy!
- Dear Blessings, Enough with the disguises already. Sincerely, Me.
- I truly wonder how much better life would be if people were required to fill out a CAPTCHA before breeding.
- The fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.
- The happiest sentence, ruined by one word: I’m getting laid. Off.
- I think Eminem should become a dentist just so he can say “snap back to reality, oh there goes a cavity.”
- My pet peeve is the phrase “pet peeve.”
- Stop looking at your phone. No one texted you.
- The fastest way to being happy is to make other people happy. You go first.
Music will never move you as much as it moves this little kid…
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Js4YZ1z0to[/youtube]
Emotions got the best of him there 🙂 good to see kiddos with a sensitive side, it gives the world hope!
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