Odd Names, Baby Laughs Like Troll, and 20 Great Facebook Statuses

Start some good conversations, share one of these..

20 Great Facebook Statuses:

  1. I hate morning people, mornings, and people.
  2. Winning isn’t everything. Rubbing it in the face of your enemy is also important.
  3. My hobbies:
    – switching between the same three apps for hours
    – imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
  4. That horrible moment when you make eye contact with the person who runs a mall kiosk.
  5. I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
  6. Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
  7. The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
  8. Who me? Just fixing society’s problems by liking and sharing shit on Facebook.
  9. You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
  10. Some souls are consumed with what grows in the garden of others and then wonder, why their own does not flourish.
  11. Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
  12. So far I’ve spent most of 2015 flipping off the weather channel.
  13. The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
  14. When the only light in your world is suddenly gone …it’s time to recharge your phone.
  15. This guy tailgating me is going to be really surprised when he finds out I have this condition where I just randomly slam on my brakes.
  16. Commenting “not your best” on everybody’s #selfie on Instagram. Their reactions are priceless.
  17. Frustrating to know I’ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
  18. “Careful, there’s poop on the dance floor.” – how ballet was invented.
  19. Of course I don’t hold grudges! I’m a woman, I carry them around in my designer purse everywhere I go.
  20. Depression is just your body’s way of saying it needs more orgasms.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Baby Laughs Like a Troll:

Dat laugh doe! How incredibly cute. Feel free to share/like if you enjoyed.

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