Ugh, Monday. Make someone smile by sharing one of these..
20 Clever Facebook Statuses:
- The worst thing is when you have a song stuck in your head but you only know one line.
- That awkward moment when you accidentally make eye contact with someone like 5 times.
- I’m not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
- Don’t spend your life more cautious than curious.
- I’m 500% done with today.
- How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Search for the fresh prints.
- The hardest part about being rejected is that I end up liking them even more as a person for their ability to make great decisions.
- It only takes a second to show someone how you feel. The police call it “Indecent Exposure” but whatever.
- Computer technology used to be a lot tougher. Back when I was a kid, mice had balls..
- Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
- If you aren’t enjoying the path to your destination, reroute. Life is hard enough. Enjoy the ride.
- “I don’t watch TV” proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.
- Bowser is a job creator and the largest employer in the mushroom kingdom.
- No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
- Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
- You can do anything you set your mind to, as long as you watch the how to video on youtube!!
- Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
- If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
- Scroll back to your oldest text conversation and write “sounds good”
- I just wanna be the reason your doctor puts you on a new medication.
Bird’s lost it..
He has officially gone nuts. It’s okay bird, I know the feeling. LOL!
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