Make someone slightly blow air out of their nose, share one of these…
20 Ridiculous Facebook Status Posts:
- Never let someone with the significance of a speed bump become a roadblock in your life.
- School is not even about learning. It’s about how much stress you can handle before you have a mental breakdown.
- I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
- Saw a bird crap on a Smart Car. Totaled it.
- Your search – Bruno Mars not wearing a stupid hat – did not return any results. Did you mean: Bruno Mars wearing a stupid hat?
- Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
- When the queen is happy, there is peace in the kingdom.
- Tired isn’t even a temporary state for me anymore. It’s just an inherent part of my personality.
- People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly ninja’s.
- You said you didn’t want to text your ex girlfriend, Tequila determined that was a lie.
- Pro Tip: Lighten up on the cologne bro. You want the girls to barely get a hint then ask to lean in. Not smell you from the parking lot.
- Two crows fall in love, move in together, start a family. The perfect murder.
- Sorry I shouted “MORTAL KOMBAT!” when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store.
- horoscope: you breathe on a daily basis
me: omg that is so me how did they do that
- Dear Women, We’re not making you unhappy, it’s your expectations of us that’s making you unhappy. Love, Men
- The best revenge is to be successful. It is to stay strong and move forward in life; never stopping, never giving up, never take a step back.
- At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I’ll never know.
- Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired…
- “Want to hold my baby?” What I hear: Want to hold this very small and fragile human who’s survival is entirely dependent on your dexterity?
- Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
Baby Freaking Out After Trying Water for the First Time:
Dawwww, he just loves him some water! So cute 🙂 Share if you’d like.