Baby Loves Water, Feeling Bad, & Ridiculous Facebook Status Posts

Editorial Team

466

Make someone slightly blow air out of their nose, share one of these…

20 Ridiculous Facebook Status Posts:

Never let someone with the significance of a speed bump become a roadblock in your life.
School is not even about learning. It’s about how much stress you can handle before you have a mental breakdown.
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
Saw a bird crap on a Smart Car. Totaled it.
Your search – Bruno Mars not wearing a stupid hat – did not return any results. Did you mean: Bruno Mars wearing a stupid hat?
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
When the queen is happy, there is peace in the kingdom.
Tired isn’t even a temporary state for me anymore. It’s just an inherent part of my personality.
People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly ninja’s.
You said you didn’t want to text your ex girlfriend, Tequila determined that was a lie.
Pro Tip: Lighten up on the cologne bro. You want the girls to barely get a hint then ask to lean in. Not smell you from the parking lot.
Two crows fall in love, move in together, start a family. The perfect murder.
Sorry I shouted “MORTAL KOMBAT!” when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store.
horoscope: you breathe on a daily basis
me: omg that is so me how did they do that
Dear Women, We’re not making you unhappy, it’s your expectations of us that’s making you unhappy. Love, Men
The best revenge is to be successful. It is to stay strong and move forward in life; never stopping, never giving up, never take a step back.
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I’ll never know.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired…
“Want to hold my baby?” What I hear: Want to hold this very small and fragile human who’s survival is entirely dependent on your dexterity?
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.