Hilarious one-liners for your status…
Facebook Status Updates about Life, Love, and Everything In-between:
- They should make a medal for anyone who uses a whole tube of chapstick before losing it. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- I’m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
- That awkward moment when you “like” someones status on facebook on accident b/c of a ur touchscreen phone.
To let a fool kiss you is stupid. To let a kiss fool you is worse.
- Did you know? Its impossible to say “Good Eye Might” without sounding Australian? LIKE if you tried. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKES in 20 minutes)
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
- “Dad I’m hungry.” “Nice to meet you hungry!” “Dad, I’m serious…” “I thought you were hungry?” “Are you kidding?!” “No, I’m Dad.”
So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply b/c the wrong person will often say all the right things.
- The amount of paper towel I use to squash and discard a bug is directly related to whether or not I know what kind of bug it is.
- LIKE if you can’t hear “I Will Remember You” without thinking of that ridiculous commercial.
- If I had a nickel for every time a girl said, “I’m Over him, i deleted his number & deleted him off Facebook” & then their back together the next day.
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don’t ask him for his three-hole-punch. (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Post that one on your Facebook page and you’ll get a ton of comments/likes!
Retractable Bed Prank:
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