Hilarious one-liners for your status…
Facebook Status Updates about Life, Love, and Everything In-between:
- They should make a medal for anyone who uses a whole tube of chapstick before losing it. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
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Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- I’m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
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Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
- That awkward moment when you “like” someones status on facebook on accident b/c of a ur touchscreen phone.
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To let a fool kiss you is stupid. To let a kiss fool you is worse.
- Did you know? Its impossible to say “Good Eye Might” without sounding Australian? LIKE if you tried. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKES in 20 minutes)
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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
- “Dad I’m hungry.” “Nice to meet you hungry!” “Dad, I’m serious…” “I thought you were hungry?” “Are you kidding?!” “No, I’m Dad.”
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So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply b/c the wrong person will often say all the right things.
- The amount of paper towel I use to squash and discard a bug is directly related to whether or not I know what kind of bug it is.
- LIKE if you can’t hear “I Will Remember You” without thinking of that ridiculous commercial.
- If I had a nickel for every time a girl said, “I’m Over him, i deleted his number & deleted him off Facebook” & then their back together the next day.
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If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don’t ask him for his three-hole-punch. (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
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Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Really, Facebook?
Post that one on your Facebook page and you’ll get a ton of comments/likes!
Retractable Bed Prank:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOw7ESWjo9Y[/youtube]
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