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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
- Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
- I recommend you chickens learn to talk. Nobody ever said let’s go get a bucket of parrot.
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
- Whenever one office door closes, 50 browser windows open. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKES in 20 minutes)
Tall girl & Short guy = Awkward. Tall girl & Tall guy = Cute. Short girl & Tall guy = Adorable. Short girl & Short guy = AWW.
Pretending to care about what the birthday card says, but you really just want the money.
- My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night… So I said I had a headache.
My printer just woke from sleep mode with a huge toner.
The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management.
If I was rich, I’d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner. (From our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
- Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
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Funny Picture to post:
How to Deactivate a Cat:
LOL is that all it takes? Post that on your Facebook Profile to get a ton of comments & likes!
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