Make your weekend last longer, share these…
20 Really Funny Statuses:
- When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
- I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
- If optimists were truly optimistic they wouldn’t see the rest of us as pessimists.
- Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
- I was planning on being productive today until I heard Rump Shaker on the radio. Now all I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom zoom-zoom in a boom-boom.
- I bet the person who invented lunges was really just some dude adjusting his sack.
- Are you reading this from a toilet? I’m writing this from one.
- Whenever I show someone a picture on my phone, I assume ninja stance in case they start scrolling.
- 1920: “May I have this dance?” 1950: “Want to go to the drive-in?” 1980: “What’s your sign?” 2014: “Here’s a picture of my dong.”
- THERE are people who can’t spell. THEY’RE uneducated. It may not be THEIR fault. YOUR grammar sucks. YOU’RE welcome.
- The first person that falls asleep at my parties doesn’t get written on or their hand in warm water. They get the phone numbers of their girlfriend and ex-girlfriend switched in their cell phone.
- If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and stuff.
- Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
- The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.
- If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple ‘Thank you.’ is all I need! Not all this ‘How did you get in my house?’ business!
- You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
- Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I’ll be watching you. – Dog
- If my “check engine” light would check my wallet, it would know there’s nothing I can do about it!
- I’m like Google, I always start guessing before you end a sentence.
- People glorify being single because you can sleep with anyone you want. In reality you can only sleep with the people who want to sleep with you. That’s a very different number.
So, where do you wanna go tonight?
Haha, that might be the best restaurant name… ever!
Armadillo Collects Leaves To “Billie Jean”
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsmxsX7fo9I[/youtube]
Raise your hand if you re-watched that twenty times like me… lol!
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