Make your weekend last longer, share these…
20 Really Funny Statuses:
- When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
- I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
- If optimists were truly optimistic they wouldn’t see the rest of us as pessimists.
- Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.
- I was planning on being productive today until I heard Rump Shaker on the radio. Now all I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom zoom-zoom in a boom-boom.
- I bet the person who invented lunges was really just some dude adjusting his sack.
- Are you reading this from a toilet? I’m writing this from one.
- Whenever I show someone a picture on my phone, I assume ninja stance in case they start scrolling.
- 1920: “May I have this dance?” 1950: “Want to go to the drive-in?” 1980: “What’s your sign?” 2014: “Here’s a picture of my dong.”
- THERE are people who can’t spell. THEY’RE uneducated. It may not be THEIR fault. YOUR grammar sucks. YOU’RE welcome.
- The first person that falls asleep at my parties doesn’t get written on or their hand in warm water. They get the phone numbers of their girlfriend and ex-girlfriend switched in their cell phone.
- If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and stuff.
- Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
- The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.
- If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple ‘Thank you.’ is all I need! Not all this ‘How did you get in my house?’ business!
- You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
- Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I’ll be watching you. – Dog
- If my “check engine” light would check my wallet, it would know there’s nothing I can do about it!
- I’m like Google, I always start guessing before you end a sentence.
- People glorify being single because you can sleep with anyone you want. In reality you can only sleep with the people who want to sleep with you. That’s a very different number.
So, where do you wanna go tonight?
Haha, that might be the best restaurant name… ever!
Armadillo Collects Leaves To “Billie Jean”
Raise your hand if you re-watched that twenty times like me… lol!