Zombie Prank, Dat Look, and Fascinating Status Updates.

Pick something that fits and go with it…

Fascinating Status Updates:

  1. I’m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
  2. The sooner one of you ladies takes ‘one for the team’ and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!
  3. Benefits of dating me: You’ll be dating me. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.
  4. It’s not hard to find someone who will tell you they love you, but it’s hard to find someone who means it.
  5. When you talk you repeat what you already know; but if you listen you often learn something new.
  6. According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, “neighborhood watch” isn’t what I thought it was.
  7. People will stop asking you questions if you answer back in interpretive dance.
  8. You make every other name that comes up on my phone a disappointment.
  9. 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with my dad, and left with my mom.
  10. I’ve never met a group of people more worried about their “privacy” than the people on Facebook that share EVERYTHING about themselves.
  11. 7 years ago to this day, I swallowed my gum and broke a mirror, so as you might imagine, this is a pretty big day for me.
  12. It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
  13. I’ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn’t just put the dots in shape of the actual letters.
  14. Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second, but instead I am going to run over 100 times with the vacuum at different angles.
  15. Girls treat guys like monkey bars. They don’t let go of the last one until they got a grip on the next one.
  16. Just punched my ATM pin into my microwave so there’s that.
  17. Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired.
  18. I’m pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
  19. You can tell all you need to know about a person by whether they bring the banana to their mouth or mouth to the banana.
  20. A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

That look when your mom calls you down for dinner but, dinner isn’t ready yet…

You know you know that look -_-

Zombie Prank NYC:

I would have shat myself. Kudos to those brave and playful people.

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