Another Witty Wednesday

Happy Hump Day!  Make this Wednesday count by posting these…

Funny Statuses for Facebook:

  • The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • In my day, we had My Space too. And it extended five feet in every direction.
  • If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
  • Sign at the Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’re in the right place.”
  • I really need a diet plan that will take my breadth away.
  • Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.  ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • The best way to keep your kids out of hot water is to put some dishes in it.
  • Life’s like a bird, it’s pretty cute until it takes a dump on your head.
  • Why is Wednesday called “Hump Day” when most people get laid on the weekends?
  • Prove that lightning isn’t wizards fighting. You can’t.
  • I am logged in, therefore I am.
  • I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
  • One tragic typo, and the weasel goes poop. (VIA our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Some women get excited about nothing, and then marry him.

Epic Pic of the Day:

Resident badass catches a flying baseball bat one handed...without spilling his beer

Resident badass catches a flying baseball bat one handed…without spilling his beer

Hilarious Video to Post:


Hah!  Post that on your Facebool wall and pose this question: What would you do if that happened to you? The responses you get are priceless.

Not enough funny content for your Facebook profile?  If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our better looking sister website, Witty Status.