10 Funny Status Updates You Gotta Post Right Now…

It’s simple folks, make your friends laugh with these….

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

1. Isn’t it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
2. Giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
3. Happiness always comes with a price, but accepts all major credit cards.
4. Sure, I’ve got buns of steel. They’re in the breadbox. ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
5. In only two weeks I’d forgotten how exhausting work can be. Tomorrow I think I’ll just watch.
6. A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and one says “I feel like someone is talking about us.”
7. I just hope Bill Gates doesn’t give away ALL his money. The last thing we need is another guy on welfare.
8. When you have to deliver bad news, always lead with something worse: “Honey, our cat died. Just kidding! But, I forgot to buy cat food.”
9. When God asks what you’ve done with your life, try not to say “Didn’t you read my statuses?”
10. If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn’t succeed either. (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )

Bonus Funny Status Quote to Post:

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” -Jack Handey