Hilarious Statuses to Rock Your Friends Weekend!

Welcome to the weekend friends.  Make it count with these hilarious statues you can share with your friends…

Facebook Funny Status Updates for every occasion and every person:

  • Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems…but then again, neither does milk. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
  • The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.
  • A politician will stand for what he thinks people will fall for.
  • When you don’t know where you’re going, every road will take you there.
  • Rats are under rated. Just check your dictionary.
  • 9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. ツ ( Be the 10,000th person to “Like” our Funny Status Update Facebook Fan Page )
  • The entire French language is a choking hazard.
  • My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
  • There’s four things I’m no good with: faces, names, and numbers.
  • The Food Network should air a disclaimer before all its programs. “Warning: the following show features stunts performed by chefs who didn’t have to worry about washing dishes, afterwards.”
  • Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!
  • The dog is following me around like I’m made of meat. Wait a minute… (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )

Bonus Funny Quote:

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. – Demetri Martin

Funny Picture to Post for the Weekend:

Holy Monkey Eyes!  Jeez look at those things!

Awesome Video to Post:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahg6qcgoay4[/youtube]

Gets me every time!

Bonus bite of awesomeness:

 

Saw these bad boys on Ellen!  How awesome is that?  Zippered headphones that never tangle. That has got to be the ultimate, why didn’t I think of that product!  Check them out @ Zipbuds.com .  Hint:  They are only $39 shipped from Amazon .

Alright folks, have a great and safe weekend! And if you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.