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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
  • Facebook is a procrastinator’s best frenemy.
  • You can rely on me. I’ve been married. I’m trained to follow orders.
  • You never hear skinny people saying, “I’m just small boned.”
  • “Age is just a number.” “Yeah? Jail is just a room.”
  • On the other hand… You have different fingers.  ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
  • I start what I finish.
  • At this point, camels should know better than to put straw anywhere near their backs.
  • I have a black eye in karate.
  • Mila Kunis broke up with Macaulay Culkin? Are they really broken up? Maybe Mila just went on vacation & forgot him. Happens to him a lot.
  • Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )

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