Score more likes, share these… Massive Monday Facebook Status Updates: “Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk” Yes, I’d love to hear about the dream you had last night! My favorite stories are the ones that don’t make sense, and also never happened. Sometimes a special […]
Facebook Status Updates
Meow-Boop, Tug of War, and Top Posts for Facebook
Make the weekend last, share these… Top 20 Facebook Posts: I don’t know if I’m hungry, but I’m going to eat anyway… just in case. That awkward moment when your friend brings up your plans in front of someone who’s not invited. My texting speed depends on your importance. I wonder if angry people know […]
Pumpkin Panda, Fluffy Butt Corgi, and Great Status Updates
We’ve got your status under control, share these… Great Facebook Status Updates: Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high. The tooth is the only part of the human body that can’t repair itself. That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it. Everyone knows […]
Best Dog Tricks, Mushroom Kitty, and Funny Status Messages
Score more likes, share these… Funny Facebook Status Messages: I got 99 problems and I can’t remember any of them so I guess that makes a hundred. 95% of my problems would be solved if I stopped over-thinking everything & calmed the fuck down & stopped being such an anxious little shit. What do you […]
Happy Ducks, Summer Piglet, and Status Quo
Step your status game up, use these… Maintain Facebook Status Quo: Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else. Raising a child is like taking care of someone who’s on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident […]
Skateboarding Fail, Tied up KittEhhh, and Clever Status Posts
Score more likes, share these… Clever Facebook Status Posts Any one can stay true to your face, it’s the people who stay true behind your back that really count. I’m not stalking you, I just know my way around the Internet. Updating my resume.. What’s a fancy way to say “I haven’t done anything for […]