We’ve got your status under control, share these…
Great Facebook Status Updates:
- Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high.
- The tooth is the only part of the human body that can’t repair itself.
- That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
- Everyone knows spray tans and Tang come from the same stem cells as Cheetos, so why does Wikipedia keep deleting my edits?
- If you have to end your statement with an lol, it probably wasn’t funny.
- Right now I feel like that one fry that somehow ends up in the onion rings.
- Just had a fake conversation on my phone to avoid having a fake converstion with a person.
- Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
- I’m not a second option. You either choose me or you lose me!
- No I don’t have a boyfriend, just someone who will be mad as hell to hear me say that!
- Without bad days, you’d never know what a good one was.
- Everyone has that one friend you just can’t bring anywhere cause they always embarrass you. If you can’t think of who that friend is, it’s you.
- I’ve come to terms with my schizophrenia. I’m finally happy with myselves
- How about a Home Alone movie where Macaulay Culkin is the dad and he leaves his kids at home because that’s all he knows?
- Truth: McDonalds has the best Coke ever.
- The more periods she writes after “ok…” the less okay things are.
- Worry about things you can control.
- Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
- Don’t try to understand women…women understand women and they hate each other.
- People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
Take a look at my Fluffy Butt:
You know you couldn’t resist staring at dat fluffy butt!
Red Panda Freaks Out Over a Pumpkin:
I LOVES me a Red Panda!!! So cuddly and adorable, they just melt my heart. Especially when they’re bumbling around with a pumpkin like that one.