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Massive Monday Facebook Status Updates:
- “Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
- Yes, I’d love to hear about the dream you had last night! My favorite stories are the ones that don’t make sense, and also never happened.
- Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
- Fight club. Only naps instead. Rules the same. Just no fights. Only secret, uninterrupted glorious naps.
- When I die, promise me you’ll put me in a Hawaiian shirt and use me to meet babes.
- If I were Native American, I’d wander around telling everyone to get off my land.
- A convenient thing about friending people from your high school on Facebook is that you’ll never need to buy a book of inspirational quotes.
- I’m more of a “the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces” person.
- This headache feels like dumb people.
- *House phone rings* Me: No.
- A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
- If you don’t have time to text an O before a K then don’t even bother. I don’t want to waste your precious time.
- It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every human being on planet Earth”
- That awkward moment when everyone is laughing and you don’t know what’s going on.
- If you’re a hugger, don’t wear so much perfume.
- Sometimes the feelings we start to have again are feelings that never really went away in the first place.
- Fine don’t text me back then. It’s not like I’m obsessively checking my phone or anything.
- The only advice I ever give: Don’t go chasing waterfalls.
- I believe in free love. That’s why I never pay on my dates.
- I’m not Starbuckanese and I refuse to speak Starbonics.
Shaq Holding a 12oz Soda Can:
I knew he was big, but damnnnnnnnnnnnnn! Now, I’d love to see him holding lots of random things. That would be awesome. Shaq may be huge but he has nothing on…
Worlds Biggest Plane:
And the theme of MASSIVE MONDAY continues with that behemoth. I will never look at a 747 Jet the same way after seeing that one.