Step your status game up, use these…
Maintain Facebook Status Quo:
- Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else.
- Raising a child is like taking care of someone who’s on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.
- If there isn’t a Chinese millionaire that’s changed their name to Cha Ching then I don’t see the point of money.
- Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
- CNN said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who does the world owe? Jupiter?
- Just once, I’d like to see an honest Facebook status, like “happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!”
- The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
- One of my best talents is pretending to like people. Unfortunately, I only show it when no one’s around.
- I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
- Some people can have all the lights on and still be in the dark.
- If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner??
- My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going.
- What have I been up to? Well I’m in the Mafia and have a nice piece of farm land. I should also stop pretending Facebook is real life.
- There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
- The awkward moment when you only know one part to a song so you just keep singing the same line for the whole day.
- I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
- I’m not rude, I’m honest.
- “I’m going to bed” really means “I’m going to lay in my bed and be on my phone for an hour or so.”
- Are there actually people out there who make their beds every morning or is that just a myth?
- I wonder if I ever caught someones attention. Even if I was just walking among the crowd, I wonder if they wanted to get to know me or whatever.
Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)
It’s heating up outside, time for Piglet to cool down…
Share if you loved that pic 🙂
Abused Ducks are Rescued and Experience Water for the 1st Time (Adorable!)
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrPajlIsKd0[/youtube]
You can see the geniune excitement in their eyes as they splish splash around! Wonderful stories like this make me happy 🙂
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