Happy Ducks, Summer Piglet, and Status Quo

Step your status game up, use these…

Maintain Facebook Status Quo:

  1. Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else.
  2. Raising a child is like taking care of someone who’s on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.
  3. If there isn’t a Chinese millionaire that’s changed their name to Cha Ching then I don’t see the point of money.
  4. Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
  5. CNN said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who does the world owe? Jupiter?
  6. Just once, I’d like to see an honest Facebook status, like “happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!”
  7. The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
  8. One of my best talents is pretending to like people. Unfortunately, I only show it when no one’s around.
  9. I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
  10. Some people can have all the lights on and still be in the dark.
  11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner??
  12. My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going.
  13. What have I been up to? Well I’m in the Mafia and have a nice piece of farm land. I should also stop pretending Facebook is real life.
  14. There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
  15. The awkward moment when you only know one part to a song so you just keep singing the same line for the whole day.
  16. I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
  17. I’m not rude, I’m honest.
  18. “I’m going to bed” really means “I’m going to lay in my bed and be on my phone for an hour or so.”
  19. Are there actually people out there who make their beds every morning or is that just a myth?
  20. I wonder if I ever caught someones attention. Even if I was just walking among the crowd, I wonder if they wanted to get to know me or whatever.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

It’s heating up outside, time for Piglet to cool down…

summer pig

Share if you loved that pic 🙂

Abused Ducks are Rescued and Experience Water for the 1st Time (Adorable!)

You can see the geniune excitement in their eyes as they splish splash around! Wonderful stories like this make me happy 🙂

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