Best Dog Tricks, Mushroom Kitty, and Funny Status Messages

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Funny Facebook Status Messages:

1. I got 99 problems and I can’t remember any of them so I guess that makes a hundred.
2. 95% of my problems would be solved if I stopped over-thinking everything & calmed the fuck down & stopped being such an anxious little shit.
3. What do you mean you can’t hang out I showered for this!
4. A house isnt a home unless it has wifi!
5. Perks of dating me… You don’t have to go broke to impress me. Seriously, we can just order off the dollar menu and make out for all I care.
6. I’m my mom’s google.
7. Pretending to think really hard when your teacher was looking at you.
8. Dark jeans make great napkins.
9. My love life will never be satisfactory until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight.
10. I automatically say “Shit” when something wrong happens.
11. Always remember, it’s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
12. I’ve finally figured out what homeless people spend their money on. It’s not clothes. It’s not booze. It’s not food. It’s sharpies and cardboard.
13. There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
14. I only check my Voicemail to get rid of that little icon in the screen.
15. I’ve always wanted to recreate my own version the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene.
16. How are girls hard to understand? We like Taco Bell, Starbucks, cuddling, compliments, naps, disney movies, yoga pants,and shopping.
17. The worst feeling… Not getting a reply back from someone you really want to talk to.
18. That awkward moment when you’re listening to music through your headphones, and don’t realize you’re humming in public.
19. Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
20. I feel naked without my phone.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

Kitty in a Mushroom Costume:

You’re not fooling anyone, mushroom!

Best Dog Tricks, Ever?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I_QzPLEjM4[/youtube]

That was phenomenal! What a smart pup 🙂 Share with your friends if you enjoyed.