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Funny Facebook Status Messages:
- I got 99 problems and I can’t remember any of them so I guess that makes a hundred.
- 95% of my problems would be solved if I stopped over-thinking everything & calmed the fuck down & stopped being such an anxious little shit.
- What do you mean you can’t hang out I showered for this!
- A house isnt a home unless it has wifi!
- Perks of dating me… You don’t have to go broke to impress me. Seriously, we can just order off the dollar menu and make out for all I care.
- I’m my mom’s google.
- Pretending to think really hard when your teacher was looking at you.
- Dark jeans make great napkins.
- My love life will never be satisfactory until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight.
- I automatically say “Shit” when something wrong happens.
- Always remember, it’s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
- I’ve finally figured out what homeless people spend their money on. It’s not clothes. It’s not booze. It’s not food. It’s sharpies and cardboard.
- There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
- I only check my Voicemail to get rid of that little icon in the screen.
- I’ve always wanted to recreate my own version the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene.
- How are girls hard to understand? We like Taco Bell, Starbucks, cuddling, compliments, naps, disney movies, yoga pants,and shopping.
- The worst feeling… Not getting a reply back from someone you really want to talk to.
- That awkward moment when you’re listening to music through your headphones, and don’t realize you’re humming in public.
- Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
- I feel naked without my phone.
Kitty in a Mushroom Costume:
You’re not fooling anyone, mushroom!
Best Dog Tricks, Ever?
That was phenomenal! What a smart pup 🙂 Share with your friends if you enjoyed.