Score easy likes, share these… Facebook Status Quo: Netflix is like meth for people who hate doing things. At the gym doing shoulder shrugs and diddly squats. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty ass elsewhere. Kill them with success and bury […]
Facebook Status Updates
Grandma Drummer, Baby Dolphin, and Status Jokes
Score more likes, share these… Status Jokes of the Day: This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously. My moral compass always gets me lost. Our society has some work to do seeing how as we still can’t […]
Minecraft Bear, Dog Misses Owner, and Weekend Status Posts
Score more likes, share these… Weekend Status Posts: You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah. A good ninja is hard to find. My dream job involves traveling to work on a zip-line. Plotting ways for Pinky and the Brain to take over the world tonight. Pretty cool to think every […]
Puppy Pinwheel, Red Hot Chili Pepper Hair, and Hilarious Social Network Statuses
Your web host with the most status updates… 20 Hilarious Social Network Statuses for the addicted… Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do. I hate it when I’m wearing my apple bottom jeans and I can’t find my boots with the […]
Big Ass Dog, Dolphin
Get through Wednesday, share these… Hump Day Facebook Status Updates: Wednesday, I know you’re not Monday, but you still kinda suck. The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service. If you always do what you […]
Dis Kitty, Mariachi Whale, and TERRIBLE Tuesday Status Updates.
Make someone smile, share these… TERRIBLE Tuesday Status Updates: No matter how you feel. Get up, dress up, show up and never give up! At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song. I wish I could burn calories as easily as I burn bridges. Forgotten pocket money is the best! […]