Score easy likes, share these…
Facebook Status Quo:
- Netflix is like meth for people who hate doing things.
- At the gym doing shoulder shrugs and diddly squats.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty ass elsewhere.
- Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.
- This lady in front of me has more coupons than groceries!
- Tip: When you’re not famous, people don’t let you pay for things with an autographed napkin.
- Why is a woman’s fantasy a man who can read their minds? If we could, how would you manage to trick us into thinking you’re aren’t crazy?
- Body scans and genital fondlings would save more lives if our Government was paying to have them done in hospitals rather than airports.
- Work like you owe money to the Mob, love like you’ve never looked in the mirror, and dance like the only drunk 70 year old man in a popular nightclub.
- I’m just one step away from taking another step.
- Can I have your number or do you just want the 8 dollars for the drink?
- Officer, I’m not Fred Flintstone, I didn’t “run” a red light, I drove through it. Now let me go.
- I prefer texting over phone calls because it gives me more time to think about what to say.
- I love that movie theater prices always include guilt-free trashing of the area around my seat.
- If you tickle me, I will punch you in the face.
- In order to avoid hating myself in the morning, I sleep till noon.
- I’m not going bald. I’m getting more head.
- If you won’t sing in the car with me when we drive, we can’t be friends.
- It’s almost August and I’ve accomplished nothing.
- Life isn’t about finding yourself…it’s about creating yourself.
Happy KittEhhh is Happy!!!
Rawr! How adorable is that little cutie?
Jumpy the Dog:
Holy MOLY is that a sweet dog! I wish my dog could do half of that… Can your dog do any of those amazing tricks? Share if you enjoyed.