Your web host with the most status updates…
20 Hilarious Social Network Statuses for the addicted…
- Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
- I hate it when I’m wearing my apple bottom jeans and I can’t find my boots with the fur.
- If others are jealous, you’re doing something right.
- That awkward moment when you realize that your child has left the room and you’ve been watching Sesame Street by yourself. For 25 minutes.
- How weird is it to have pets? Like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it.
- Do animals think in English or in the sounds they make?
- How come packages that say “easy open” always take a light saber to open?
- Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
- Remember, the grass is always greener on the other side because it’s fertilized with crap.
- “Girls love illegible texts at 3 am, trust me man.” -Jack Daniels
- So I heard you’re a player. Well nice to meet you… I’m the coach.
- If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
- What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?!
- I’m really glad we don’t have to hunt our own food anymore…. I don’t even know where sandwiches live.
- Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
- New rule: unless you punched a shark in the face to dislodge that tooth, you’re not allowed to wear it on a necklace.
- I wish hangovers and orgasms could swap durations.
- I’m assuming Greek yogurt is just regular yogurt but with way more hair.
- Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs.
- If we can teach gorillas sign language, we can definitely teach them the dance to Thriller. GET ON IT SCIENCE!
Talk about a SPICY haircut:
Something about that look… I like 🙂
That’s a whole lot of adorableness right there. Share if you loved it!